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Joke of the Day

"Drummers always have such lame jokes... I've heard them all like a Zildjian times."

"4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant. I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said: ""I never want to do that again."""

"A vampire walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a mug of hot water. The bartender looks confused and asks 'Don't you drink blood?' The vampire holds up a used tampon and says. 'I'm making tea.'"

"They say love is more important than money. B!tch, have you ever tried paying your bills with a hug?!"

"The best advice my parents ever gave me was not to push too hard because that's how Elvis died."

"[NSFW] Why is Popeye's penis soft and smooth? He puts it in Olive Oyl. Edit: I don't know why this is tagged under religion. \_()_/ "

"Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library? Both the books got burned and one hadn't even been coloured in yet."

"Why are all these jokes about unhappy relationships? Said my wife as she looked over my shoulder. What a nosy fucking bitch."

"I bought a new boomerang... and went damn near crazy trying to throw the old one away!"

"When i used to work for walgreens and the security system would go off the employees would say ""run!"" I guess it was the running joke."