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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Polish suicide bomber? 42 successful missions"

"Oprah says we all have a small child inside of us longing to get out & omg why isn't anyone talking about Oprah eating children?"

"I still don't understand why people say marriage is so hard when I've successfully completed 2 of them..."

"What's a pirate favorite letter? Rape."

"How do you know if a homeless man has a girlfriend? He has two clean fingers."

"What does R. Kelly tell little girls on Halloween? Urine for a treat!"

"What did the car said to the valet? I've been through a lot."

"I know I should be searching for my missing friend, but there's a lot of food in his apartment that'll spoil if I don't eat it."

"Did you know that 99% of Americans use the internet regularly? The other 1% are the politicians."

"Did you hear about the French baker who kept burning himself on the top shelf of his oven? He had a high threshold for *pain*"