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Joke of the Day

"What's the best way to kill a bug? Just bug him to death."

"How do Itallian chefs swap emails? By spaghett-e-mail!"

"If you always think the grass is greener on the other side, maybe you should water what the fuck you have and see how that works out first."

"How many ants does it take to rent a house? Ten ants. ^lol"

"What do you get when you kiss a bird? Chirpies. It's a Canarial Disease. It's Untweetable!"

"How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins."

"WIFE: can you preheat the oven? ME: you mean heat it WIFE: not this again ME: it can't be heated before it's heated. don't give me that look"

"Dang girl, Are you part of a ponzi scheme? ...because something smells fishy."

"what do you call Coq Au Vin made with Two Buck Chuck? Chick n' Chuck!"

"U.S. vending machines to begin displaying calorie information to encourage smarter snack choices. Machines' reflective glass surface not doing the trick."