463

Joke of the Day

"Having the option to erase and re-record after having to leave a voicemail is one of my favorite things about life."

"When I get home from work, I like to pack myself into really small suitcases. I can hardly contain myself."

"Forget Washington, Lincoln, JFK. Trump Is Simply Going To Be The Best President To Have Come in A Melania."

"If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he's slept with"

"I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction."

"Why do Muslim extremists prefer to drink cappuccino? Because they hate french press."

"I like my wine like I like my women 9 years old and locked in the cellar"

"Dyslexic Superbowl watchers were probably disappointed when they saw football instead of a superb owl."

"If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it."

"How cats and dogs think Dog: These people feed me, pet me, love me, they must be God. Cat: These people feed me, pet me, love me, I must be a God."