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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day? SINGLE"

"Eye of the Tiger came on the radio and I got so excited the macaroni salad I was making is all over the walls and the cat has a black eye."

"Me: *Reaches over, cuts up food, says ""open wide"" & starts making airplane noises* Guy: *stunned silence* -Single Mama on a date"

"Why can't you smell Bran (spoilers) He's hodorless"

"Tried to make a joke in my math class and no one laughed. I think they were 2/10's."

"There's a hole in the nudist camp wall... The police are looking into it."

"I just found out that I'm colorblind It really came out of the purple!"

"I bought an iPod from El Chapo... But now I have to keep jailbreaking it."

"What is your best lawyer joke? I need some new material for the court house."

"How many terrorist jokes are there out there? You'll have to c-4 yourself."