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Joke of the Day
"'A confident swipe of the debit card' is my favorite fantasy."
Next Joke
"I don't like listening to loud frequencies. After a while, it hertz your ears."
"If you are having anxiety over something you've said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like."
"What's E.T. short for? His legs are small."
"What do you call a fish that takes a selfie? Selfish"
"If my love life was a movie it would be Demolition Man... ...starring Sylvester Still-alone."
"My girlfriend is like root(-1) She's the one, but does not exist."
"My boyfriend and I checked out a new coffee shop in town... I asked him how his coffee was. ""It's like making love in a canoe."" ""That good?"" I asked ""No. It's fucking close to water."""
"what do a roadway, for coworkers in the same car, that goes underwater and discomfort in the wrist from excessive computer use have in common? carpool tunnel"
"Never ever make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for a long time...."