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Joke of the Day
"I have done about 300 crunches for my new exercise routine. 299 of them are Nestle."
Next Joke
"Spent most of my early twenties trying to open a pistachio."
"I think the scariest Halloween decorations I've seen this year have to be All the little blue signs that say Trump-Pence on them"
"What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted"
"I'm such a crastinator... I'm way too busy redditing to go Pro!"
"Prison escape A dwarven psychic escaped from prison, an alert went out there was a small medium at large"
"After Israel threatened to take the Security Council vote as an act of war, the New Zealand Ambassador called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.... ...Picking up the phone, he spoke ""Hebrew."""
"Teacher: ""Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?"" Student: ""So we know when to start Christmas shopping!"""
"A man cheats... on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""
"How do Mexicans cut their pizza? With Little Caesars!"