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Joke of the Day
"I love Easter. My unborn children get to play find the egg tonight."
Next Joke
"Got caught smelling my sisters underwear yesterday. Made the rest of her funeral very fucking awkward."
"I'm 291 away from having 3000 followers on Twitter and 8 away from having 10 friends in real life."
"[God Creating] Lucifer: Make them wake up paralyzed sometimes G: That sounds horrible L: People will love it G: Hm, I trusted you on spiders"
"What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter? Mohammed Dali"
"I bet you'll watch the cell phone camera footage of this concert for years & remember the fun you had holding up a cell phone at a concert."
"""Barista"" is Italian for BA in liberal arts."
"What did the New Zealand naval officer say to his crew? All hands on dick...."
"It's so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names."
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give Jesus a fish, and you and your family will eat nothing but that one fish for a lifetime."