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Joke of the Day

"It's so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names."

"If a hippo was studying to be a neurosurgeon what school would the hippo go to? The Hippocampus!"

"How are vegans okay with drinking water? They can't eat meat, but they can just destroy a fish's home for a glass of water?"

"Why was the doctor stressed? He was losing his patients"

"What do you call a waffle that burps too much? A belchin waffle."

"Wow, 5 years ago we had Steve Jobs and Neil Armstrong. Now we have no jobs and no arms."

"Trump got a sandwich named after him at his favorite deli. Commander in Cheese Meltdown. They put it on the kid's menu."

"What do you call a truthful piece of paper? Fax."

"Saw a guy scratch his balls and then he made eye contact with me as he smelled his fingers. Probably took 8 years off my life."

"Jewish guy goes to his rabbi . . . . . . he asks, ""I don't get it. If we're the chosen people, why did God make the goys?"" The rabbi shrugs and say, ""Hey . . . somebody's gotta pay retail."""