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Joke of the Day

"Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27."

"I <3 W... Valentine's day TXT message you send twins if you are unsure which one you are sending the message."

"The Gym is like Church. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they'll erase what they did during the week."

"The classiest Minion is called a Filet Minion please fave and RT"

"Tis the season to kidnap a tree, hold it hostage, keep it from its family during the holidays, then leave it for dead."

"An Irishman saw a notice outside a police station which read: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY. So he went in and applied for the job!"

"Why do so many lunatics have ear infections? Because they're ear-rash-ional."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ari ! Ari who ? Ari-S-P-E-C-T !"

"I only do cocaine with the flexible straws. So I can reach my dashboard while i'm driving."

"I was walking my dog when a man approached me. He said, ""My car's just broken down. Could you give me a push?"" ""Of course,"" I said. Then he fell into the bush."