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Joke of the Day

"I only do cocaine with the flexible straws. So I can reach my dashboard while i'm driving."

"The inventor of the elevator should be credited for the birth of awkward silence as well."

"The police just released a statement that someone is going around pickpocketing midgets. I'm surprised someone could stoop so low."

"At the touch of her lips, it grew hard an swollen... I gasped as she squeezed and pulled expertly. It was the best balloon giraffe I d ever seen."

"Which is the most silky planet? Satin!"

"Seriously considering ""Have boobs, will travel"" as my new bio for everything. It's a good life."

"What does a redneck garden gnome hate more than anything? Transplants"

"Did you hear about the man who was sexually attracted to cars? He had an auto-erotic affixation."

"I started eating healthier recently. Instead of chicken wings alone I now drink beer with them, thus, preventing coking and prolonging life."

"Some people call it anal bleaching, but I prefer to call it changing my ring tone."