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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound."

"Eating at this new Hitler-themed breakfast place, Luftwaffles."

"Whats the difference between a rooster and a whore? A rooster says cock-a-doodle-do and a whore says any-cock'll-do"

"At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I'm forty. I have one."

"I was going to make a Casey Anthony joke but my mom would kill me"

"I just crashed into the back of a dwarf driver.... He gets out of the car inspects the rear bumper and goes up my window. ""I'm not happy"" he said ""well which one are you then?"""

"I deleted all my german friends off my phone... Its now Hans free."

"What's the difference between a zit and a priest? Zit waits until you're a teenager before it cums in your face."

"What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement? What're you asking me for? I have Asperger's."

"Why do elephants wear green shoes? So they can sneak across pool tables. Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table? Works, doesn't it?"