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Joke of the Day

"The New Zealand Military"

"*eats way too much delicious space pudding* Me: Oof I am STUFFED! What'd you call this again? Alien Chef: OH MY GOD YOU ATE MY GRANDMOTHER!"

"Apparently If ur BF says ""if anything happens to me,I want u to meet someone new...."" ""anything"" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic."

"""I wasn't that drunk..."" ""Dude, you were driving your truck around the Walmart parking lot trying to find your truck."""

"Today I masturbated 8 times! A personal record for me... In my defence Schindler's list was a long film"

"My Halloween costume this year: I'm gonna get drunk and make a space suit out of Bud Light boxes. When people ask who I'm supposed to be, I'll respond, ""I'm Buzzed Lightbeer!"""

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No i-dear What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no i-dear"

"What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire"

"What did the banana peel say when asked what happens after it's thrown into the compost pile? IDK, i'm just a banana."

"How do you insult a Catholic? Any way you like, they have to forgive you!"