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Joke of the Day

"What sexual position... Do you not want your new girlfriend to ask you put her in? The fetal position."

"How do farmers count their cows? With a Cowculator!!"

"What do you do to a dead scientist? You Barium"

"Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?"

"Have you heard about the movie called 'Constipation'...? No? That's because it hasn't come out yet."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cuba ! Cuba who ? Cuba wood !"

"How many Emos does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer to cry in the dark."

"[stops girl before she walks in the puddle] ""I got this one babe, *pulling out a straw* stand back"""

"All the world's a stage And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time has many farts."

"Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat."