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Joke of the Day

"I told my doctor that I keep getting embarrassing erections. He said, ""It's OK. Just think of your grandma."" As I sat there with my cock in my hand, I said, ""Then what?"""

"As a fan of Dirty Dancing I can only hope that when we go on holiday one of my daughters sleeps with a middle aged dance instructor."

"How do you turn a duck into a R&B Soul artist? Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers."

"When I saw Stephen Fry was getting married to a much younger man I wondered what a gay cougar was called. A pink panther."

"Famous Deaths happen in 3s... Sunday it was Mr Fuji, Yesterday it was Gene Wilder, Today it was the Minnesota Vikings season."

"Why did Ellen Pao fire an employee with cancer? She felt threatened by someone more malignant than herself"

"A blind man walked into a bar... And a table, and a chair"

"I'm taking my kid to an aquarium today. (I'm putting my kid in the closet with Sponge Bob videos)"

"Which two letters of the alphabet are nothing? MT (empty) ."

"What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork."