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Joke of the Day
"Can Mississippi wear Delaware's New Jersey? I don't know but Alaska."
Next Joke
"Been reading about instinctive behaviors. Apparently, my natural reaction to seeing an attractive woman is a Fixed Action Pattern (in short, FAP)."
"How to spot an Aussie 1. Shout 1 3 DOUBLE OH! 2 Wait till someone shouts ""6 TRIPLE 5 OOOHHHH 6"""
"My new haircut is really starting to grow on me"
"Just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. Will keep you posted."
"Wanna feel old? 1990 was 40 years ago."
"Oh, I can't check my disobedient child with the rest of my luggage? You're saying I have to carry-on my wayward son?"
"What is the cheapest meat you can buy? Deer balls...because it's under a buck."
"I had a dream about a woman who becomes a horse at night. It was a nightmare."
"I dream of a world without war, without poverty and without girls who post sexy selfies with unrelated inspirational quote captions."