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Joke of the Day

"Can Mississippi wear Delaware's New Jersey? I don't know but Alaska."

"At my funeral I want a magician to saw my coffin in half or I'm not going."

"Where can Grammar Nazis find asylum? Grammargentina"

"guy who wrote the Folgers jingle never got woken up with a blowjob."

"Tickets for the wheelchair races are selling out...seats are going fast!"

"One time I saw a duck get hit by a wonder bread truck and that's pretty much why I try not to get too ambitious"

"God lets you know where you stand with him by how tangled your headphones get."

"*goes in bank with finger guns* This is a robbery! ""no one'll take you seriously-"" *switches to double barrel finger guns* ""do what he says"""

"Why did the staff party go to jail? Because they were in treble."

"I experienced a rape when I was 5... The babysitter never saw it coming."