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Joke of the Day
"What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? A $100 bill."
Next Joke
"Wait a sec...That's not how the proverb goes! A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. But once it breaks, you have two really strong chains, which, in some ways, is more useful."
"[First day working in a warehouse] ME: What's that machine for? ""Oh, that's the forklift"" ME: OH MY GOD HOW HEAVY ARE YOUR FORKS??"
"Dear congress, please text and drive.#governmentshutdown"
"We're gonna party like its 1999. //breaks out Nokia flip phone and starts to panick about Y2K//"
"My mom's favorite part of Mother's Day is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order."
"Hamburglar search history: sentence for stealing burgers do inmates get burgers what is prison ""beef"" countries that don't extradite"
"What do witches eat at Halloween ? Spooketti halloweenies devils food cake and booberry pie !"
"2 sheep are standing on a hill One turns to the other and says ""Baaa!"". The other sheep says ""I was just going to say that""."
"I like my women how I like my file paper. Ruled, and punched twice near the spine to keep them in line."