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Joke of the Day

"Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn't really make sense... You could say it was a vague rant."

"A man went to see his doctor ""You need to stop masturbating"" said the doctor. ""Why?"" asked the man. The doctor replied ""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""

"One time I bought these shoes from a drug dealer, and I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"

"I thought I was wrong once.... but I was mistaken."

"How do you describe people who tell ""I see dead people"" jokes? They have a sixth sense of humor"

"Why didn't the Irishman add another bean? He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent."

"I can always tell by their eyes if someone is a primary school teacher They have small pupils....."

"What do you call it when a redhead goes nuts? A ginger snap."

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce the word unionized."

"Son: Dad, is cousin Billy a mosquito? Me: In Alabama? S: Yeah. M: Of course not. Why do you ask? S: Mom said he was the product of insects."