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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the Irishman add another bean? He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent."

"Q: What kind of cats lay around the house? - A: Car-pets!"

"[Me and coworker going for the last piece of cake] You'd better ask yourself if you can type with one hand, Nancy from Accounting."

"What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity? Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or ""That'll do pig, that'll do."" I have heard it both ways."

"a cauliflower is a plant explosion in extremeley slow motion"

"If you love something keep it in the refrigerator, keep it fresh, that thing you love is a lot like mayonnaise."

"What do you get when astronomers play tic-tac-toe? Exoplanets Thought that one up myself."

"A little boy and a little girl are in the bathtub together. The little girl looks down at the boy and asks, ""Can I touch it?"".... He answers, ""No way -- you already broke yours off!"""

"I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather.... Instead of commenting on reddit about how many times a joke has been posted."

"It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it"