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Joke of the Day

"Spell roast five times, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t. What do you put in a toaster? I usually put bread in a toaster."

"Who has a long nose wears a mask and sits tall in the saddle? The Lone Aardvark!"

"Two children pieces of graphite are playing with a diamond..... ...Mummy piece of graphite walks in and says ""Leave your Father alone - he's been under a lot of pressure"""

"""My eyes are down there!"" - Large-breasted blind woman pointing to her service dog."

"Elephant 911: What's ur em- Elephant: MOUSE Elephant 911: WHERE Elephant: FLOOR Elephant 911: JUMP ON THE TABLE [table breaking noises]"

"What did the Chinese food say to the patron? ""Please, don't eat me! I'm Egg Foo Yung to die!"""

"Just told a coworker ""I ain't scerd, lil' bitch."" and threw my stapler. I blame the hardcore rap."

"What do hillbillys do on Halloween? Pump Kin"

"Thought I saw a walking burrito but it was just a pug in a raincoat."

"Why did the feminist sign up for football? She wanted to be the center of attention."