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Joke of the Day

"It's been 50 years since The Jetsons showed us a wacky science-fiction world where you could afford two kids and a house with just one job."

"Two sausages in a pan; one says to the other ""It's hot in here isn't it?"" ...the other one turns round and says ""FUCK ME! A talking sausage!"""

"Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers? It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas."

"Sometimes I enjoy my steak undercooked.. ...but that's rare."

"Islam is a religion of peace. Piece of you over here, piece of you over there..."

"Pro tip: Don't moan when getting a pat down at airport security"

"I like my women with curves. Those skinny ones are alway mad cause they're hungry."

"Why do women fake orgasms? I wish they'd just be honest. I've only faked an orgasm once, when I was being mugged..... That scared him off."

"3-year-old girl My 3-year-old niece, stomping her feet in anger, making faces. Me: What's wrong ? 3-year-old: NOTHING! Phew! she's already a woman :-o"

"I relate more to ""Rice, rice, baby"" - because Asian"