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Joke of the Day

"Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other 'I don't like your friend.' The other one replied 'Well put her to one side and just eat the greens.'"

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"If a server comes to my table and asks 'hows everythin tasting?' mid chew I like to grab their wrist and keep them there until I can answer"
"Word of the Day: Eskihoe A girl that wears UGG boots and a miniskirt at the same time."
"[using Ouija Board] ""Will i ever find true love--"" ""NEW GHOST WHO DIS"""
"What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve"
"What Bible verse keeps every student going? Lunch 11:35."
"How do you make a woman have an orgasm? Who cares?"
"I would tell you an Ebola joke... But you probably won't get it"
"What Has 75 Balls and Screws Old Ladies? Bingo."
"[reading online survey] Are you ready to double your satisfaction? My god this sounds wildly inappropriate. *clicks yes*"