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Joke of the Day

"I found a stray cat today. Sadly, my dad is allergic to them so I had to put him down. At least I still have the cat for comfort."

Next Joke
 
"I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night... ...the handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket."
"This kid at my nephew's birthday party shit his pants and got to go home. I'm seriously considering this option."
"If I eat lots of preservatives, won't I live longer? No, but you will have a longer shelf life."
"I've been out of work for a while but have just got a job at a factory making periscopes. Things are looking up."
"Guys one of the Greek Gods is trying to destroy 80s music! H80s"
"Our dog is named lucky he often escapes, so we'll be up all night to get lucky"
"What's red, white, and black all over? An American plantation."
"Time is not wasted, when your wasted all the time"" ~Benjamin Franklin (I think.)"
"""Your finest Scotch, please."" ""Yes, sir,"" the guy at Staples says as he hands me a 12 year old roll of tape."