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Joke of the Day

"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand ternary, those who don't, and those who think it's binary."

"Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? A: ""Would you like fries with that?"""

"[my husband turning onto our street] ""know what I think?"" husband: you don't have to say it everytime. ""we've been down this road before"""

"I wonder if giraffes can eat so much their stomach explodes bc they just don't know it right away cuz it's in their neck for so long. What."

"My therapist thinks meeting women on twitter for sex is a bad idea. His wife disagrees."

"What do you call a shitty band that only plays in the winter? Coldplay."

"Parachute joke if your parachute doesn't deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it!"

"My sister didnt think I could make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pastah'"

"How do you mail an egg? In a henvelope!"

"Why don't other bugs like earwigs ? Because they are always earwigging their conversations !"