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Joke of the Day
"YOU ARE GROUNDED!!!! ~ me, yelling hilarious shit at the beef in this grocery store."
Next Joke
"Guys at work are always like ""why are your shorts so short?"" Then I spin kick an inch away from their face with such precision and they know"
"Why do people assume I know all about computers just because I'm from India? That makes so I angry I just want to 01010010101010101010101"
"Did you hear about Trump's import tax assessment? It's tariff-eyeing"
"I like my slaves like I like my coffee Fair Trade."
"GOOD COP: Three robberies in the same neighborhood ...do you know what I'm thinking? PSYCHIC COP: Yes GOOD COP: Oh right"
"I wouldn't be so scared of spiders if they were wearing tiny shoes."
"I don't know why beer companies bother with an expiration date... it's never going to make it anywhere near that."
"A guy is driving home thinking to himself.... if I was in a joke right now, what would the punch line be? Long story or short, he gets in a car accident and dies."
"Accountants aren't boring people They just get excited about boring things."