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Joke of the Day

"Adolf Hitler banned 5k races but sponsored an annual marathon... ...Because Marathons are the master race."

"You know what sucks about Karaoke? Coworkers don't appreciate the time & effort that I put into my make up or outfit before singing Madonna"

"If you spin an oriental person around until they get dizzy, do they become disoriented? #LifeQuestions"

"Just realized that my spirit animal is Winnie the Pooh. Two words: No pants."

"My friends call me The Archeologist Because I date old, dusty pieces of junk"

"Girls are of two types.... Girls are of two types: 1. Boring 2. Interesting Boring are the ones who use umbrella even in sunlight; And Interesting are the ones who forget Umbrella at home during rain!"

"I drink Mountain Dew for the protective coating it leaves on my teeth. The kidney stones are a close second."

"I have the heart of a saint And a lifetime ban from Mother Teresa's grave."

"I bet Eve bit that apple because she knew she was going to get a bunch of clothes out of it."

"How do you turn a fox into a cow? Get married to her."