149463

Joke of the Day

"You know what sucks about Karaoke? Coworkers don't appreciate the time & effort that I put into my make up or outfit before singing Madonna"

"I just bought a really expensive car, only to find the reverse gear broken. There's no going back now."

"I asked my wife what she wanted for christmas she told me ""nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace"" so I bought her nothing"

"I dropped my soap in the shower. On purpose. Nothing happened. You guys are full of it."

"Had a fight with a janitor once, wiped the floor with him"

"Acid... The taste you can see!"

"what do you call 4 and 25 cents? foreign change"

"The best blowjob I ever had was from a fat chick. Probably because she's used to putting things in her mouth."

"I heard Apple is designing a new automatic car But they're having trouble installing windows"

"This guy at my work is giving his wife a gym membership for Christmas. His name was John."