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Joke of the Day

"Me: was I born with a mental disorder? Mom: did you iron a shirt while wearing it again Me: NO Mom: ? Me: I thought pants would be different"

"My 2 yo is currently having the biggest tantrum I've ever seen! He's mad I will not let him open & eat the box of candy* he found. *tampons"

"Garbanzo beans vs chickpeas I used to to not know the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea. But last night I definitely didn't have a garbanzo on my face."

"How did you get out of Iraq? Iran"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotopus"

"What type of cheese can you see in a mirror? Halloumi! (Hello me)"

"So apparently the Phillies aren't serving beer this year... They lost the opener Stupid but its an Uncle joke so I had to"

"What is it called when a bull made of snow eats explosives? A bomb in a bull snowman."

"You can't buy a woman's love but you can buy a woman's heart on the black market probably."

"Three guys walk into a bar... ...the bartender says, ""What is this, a joke?"""