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Joke of the Day

"My 2 yo is currently having the biggest tantrum I've ever seen! He's mad I will not let him open & eat the box of candy* he found. *tampons"

"Thesaurus Club First rule of Thesaurus Club. You don't talk, converse, discuss, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gab, gossip or natter about Thesaurus Club."

"What are people in motels doing that they need such a steady and reliable source of ice?"

"What do Beethoven's 9th and a dead baby have in common? They're both D-composed."

"Jessica Simpson had her baby. Apparently, Kanye busted into the delivery room and said Beyonce had the best baby of all time."

"I just saw that Harry Potter film. I think its a bit unrealistic if you ask me.. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends? How?"

"Every time your kid starts crying when they don't get what they want, just say ""I don't negotiate with terrorists."""

"Why is the magnet on medication? Because it's bipolar"

"Unfaithful Russian men come home to find all their stuff in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box on the sidewalk."

"Height Of Facebook Influence Height of Facebook influence Doctor the patient: How you're feeling now? Patient: I'm feeling lonely with chill girl and 60 other persons"