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Joke of the Day

"What does Massive Attack call Parkinson's Disease? Interia Creeps Moovin' Up Slowly"

"I got fired from my office job for misunderstanding the meaning of 3 hole punch."

"Why did the man with bronchitis get cremated..? he was tired of coffin."

"How many dead memes does it take to change a light bulb? Over 9000."

"I gave away all my dead batteries recently... ... free of charge, of course."

"Bouncy balls are super fun if you love to play with something very briefly, then spend 45 minutes looking for it in a shrub."

"This might be my ego talking, but I feel my weight-loss spambot followers care about me. They really, really, do."

"Personal Trainer: Show me the hardest thing that you do each day. Me: *Goes out front door of gym, comes back in*"

"Why can't a W-boson get a girlfriend? He can't even last a femtosecond!"

"How does a Muslim close a door? Islams it!"