113245

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about how James Bond slept through an earthquake? He was shaken, not stirred."

"Parenting Tip: Wear clothing with pockets so you can flip off your children inconspicuously."

"The best way to tell someone you don't like them is to text them 370HSSV 0773H and tell them to read it upside down."

"I played dead in the living room to see how my 2yo would respond. He climbed on my ""corpse"" for 5 minutes then turned on the tv."

"A plane full of lawyers die in a crash. thats the joke."

"What do Filipinos call Canada? Upper U.S."

"Whatever, Twitter makes me a safer driver. Now I stop at every red light, even the lights that I think may change in the next minute or two."

"When it comes to broken digits, who can point a finger as to the cause?"

"How can you tell when an auto mechanic jus had sext One of his fingers is clean!!"

"Sometimes it's too hard to hate everyone all at once, so I hate people in shifts."