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Joke of the Day

"For pimps, prostitution must be alot like using pawn pieces in chess... They use them to do their dirty work, in promise that he'll one day make her into a queen."

"What would happen if for one day nobody could make calls with their cellphone in the United States? Literally nothing, because nobody fucking ever answers their phone to begin with."

"How do you make a neato burrito? With cool beans."

"Being half German and half Jewish has its problems... Every time I walk by an oven I want to push myself in."

"After a long time of procrastination I read that book about the 4th dimension. It's about time..."

"The 4 year old thinks a cat's tail is it's underwear because it covers the butthole. I can't really argue with that logic."

"I told my friends I had a date with a really attractive girl... they told me she was imaginary, but the jokes on them, because they are too."

"I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me."

"What do you call a lesbian with big fingers? Well hung.!"

"I saw a homeless guy in town shouting about a lot of random stuff... It was a vague rant."