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Joke of the Day
"A Clock wrote a book Critics say its about time"
Next Joke
"Me: It actually takes light around 8 minutes to travel from the Sun to Earth. Her: Umm light is instant. Everyone knows that. Me: Go home."
"""Can I pet your dog?"" ""Sure, but he can be aggressive."" [He pushes a pamphlet about the dangers of gluten towards me with his nose]"
"I've been with the same woman for twenty years. Don't tell my wife. She'd kill me."
"The United States of America Yeah, That's it."
"If I was a president, I would make bigger schools So that we can have a higher education"
"Some people don't like telling the truth, others don't like hearing it."
"Have you heard about the new emo-punk band taking Mexico by storm? They're called *Hispanic! At the Disco*."
"My bathroom smells like somebody just took a shit when I walked out of it."
"ME EVREY MORNIG: nonono no noNO no NONO NO!!! ME EVREY NIGHT: u know wat wil make my morning amazing?! setting my favorite song as my alarm"