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Joke of the Day

"What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas ? A ladder in her stocking !"

"Did you hear Han Solo will be running next years London Marathon? He says he reckons he'll be able to finish in less than 26 miles"

"I never try to make guests feel at home. If they wanted to feel at home, they should have stayed there."

"A man walks into a bar..... ""ouch"""

"The only kind of meat a priest can eat on a Friday..... is nun."

"Your honor, may I approach the bench? Judge: You may *benches 200lbs in 3 sets of 20 reps* The defense rests"

"What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?"

"You really shouldn't make fun of a fat girl with a lisp. I'm sure she's thick and tired of it."

"I wanted to break up, but I was a pussy... Who couldn't resist your pussy - said every man, ever. (verbatim from conversation with ex-gf today)"

"Knock knock. (Who's there?) Ric Flair. Ric Flair WHOOO?!"