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Joke of the Day
"I hate it when auto-correct changes my ""omg"" to ""OMG"" like, chill out, I'm not that surprised."
Next Joke
"How do footballers send messages? By referee-mail."
"We call our new maid Non Sequitur, ...because she's Latin and she doesn't follow."
"Bad news for women: there's a glass ceiling. Good news for women: that's one more thing you get to Windex!"
"When a topologist drops acid... ...is it called a Mobius Trip?"
"What's the difference between iron-man and iron woman? one is a superhero and the other is a command."
"Caught my son smoking pot then my wife walked in and caught me and our son smoking pot. Anyways I'm grounded."
"Her: Why's the couch smell like pee? [Flashback to me watching The Ring alone] Me: *points at son* I think someone had another ""accident."""
"Customer service stopped recording my calls for training purposes. There's nothing to be learned from that much profanity."
"What do you call the only wood that doesn't float? Natalie."