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Joke of the Day

"Bad news for women: there's a glass ceiling. Good news for women: that's one more thing you get to Windex!"

"A British Major is stationed in the desert with his troops..."

"Do not underestimate me. 16 just dared me to eat the fish food. It's freeze-dried worms. Wasn't bad. I'm hungry."

"Why did the Christmas tree get thrown in prison? Treeson."

"Why are blondes bad a judging distance? They have no idea what 12 inches actually looks like. I for some reason could not find a way to phrase this any better. Credit to my coworker."

"My best friend won't talk to me. It's because he is a dog."

"Bridge is like sex. If you don't have a partner you better have a good hand"

"What do you call a Hawaiian with a cold? A Polysneezin."

"What do you do when you see a spaceman? You park, man."

"If you factor in Trumps ancestry, his policies make perfect sense. The German side says ""Build a wall!"" The Scottish side says ""Well im not paying for it!"""