209717

Joke of the Day

"I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50."

"Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"Why don't catholic priest believe in condoms? Because little boys can't get pregnant."

"My ex girlfriend was obsessed with my balls... I had to weiner off it."

"Did you hear about the professor that got in a horrible wreck? He was grading papers on a curve."

"A video of my kids attempting to cut steak would make an excellent commercial for condoms."

"I know a guy that's nearly bald who always goes outside to dry his hair. I asked him why he did that. He said ""It's a breeze."""

"Q: Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him? A: To see how long he slept."

"How to 4-dimensional aliens get around? In Tralfamadoloreans."

"My girlfriend is like the square root of -100. She's a 10, but she's imaginary."