111979

Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my bikes. Chained up and locked down in my garage."

"Why are women so bad at being hockey goalies? Because there are 3 periods and only 2 pads."

"""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" ""You thought I'd like your pretty lights?"" ""Recite the alphabet backwards"" ""I can't even do that sober"""

"What does a blonde do to impress others Names herself as James, then introduces herself as I am blonde, James Blonde"

"BREAKING: Hobbit director Peter Jackson's next huge undertaking to be 3-part movie series of The Cheesecake Factory menu."

"How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path"

"Why does Kevin Bacon not get more leading roles in Hollywood? Because it's not kosher. http://36.media.tumblr.com/cb0ad7dd38767e0fc2363665afdb5cdd/tumblr_inline_ntae7hsEL21tw80r8_1280.jpg"

"How do you console someone with bad Grammar Skills ? There, Their, They're."

"What kind of code does a volcano use to make its website? HTMelt"

"What does a slave owner do with his slaves when he's finished with them? Races 'em."