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Joke of the Day

"I was feeling very depressed the other week. I went to my psychiatrist and told him I was suicidal. He asked me to pay in advance."

"Why were episodes 4, 5, 6 made before 1, 2, 3? Because in charge Yoda was."

"I have a confession to make... ""I want to get back with my ex""...LOL Just Kidding...""I'd rather sh!t in my hands and clap !"".."

"Toddlers run just like a 70s stuntman engulfed in flames."

"Why did God give men penises? So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up."

"What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower !"

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat? Because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat!"

"What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub? Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry."

"What did the super spy polyatomic ion say when he walked into the bar? The name's Bond, Covalent Bond"

"I lost my kid at the zoo the other day.... I couldn't find him, so they just shot all the animals."