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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: What's your phone number? *looks up from phone* Me: I don't have a phone. *looks down at phone* Coworker...."

"I cant English good? I prefer to speaking to writing on paper so that my grammar isn't as tearable."

"Find a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have nothing but a gross penny you found in some filthy parking lot."

"Why do politicians take laxatives? So they can speak more fluently"

"Do you know why one side is longer than the other when birds fly in a ""V"" formation? Because there are more birds on that side."

"What's Satan's main social media site? Pentagram"

"What is the most popular vehicle in South America? They drive alpacars."

"Why did Angela Merkel ban use of crabgrass lawn treatments? She was told they would stop the ""German nation"""

"Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating..."

"All International Pilots need to know English. But middle eastern pilots only need to know how to say Allahu Akbar."