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Joke of the Day
"""EVERYONE IS ENGAGED BUT YOU"" - facebook"
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"What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman? Snowballs."
"I was bitten by a crow, since then I've had the proportionate strength, speed, and agility of a guy who is bleeding from the head a bit"
"When your date asks about your hobbies, DON'T grab her table knife in a napkin and say, ""Collecting knives with strangers' prints on them."""
"Aw look he's about to say his first words! ""Say dada!"" *baby opens mouth* Here it comes! *airhorn noise*"
"Guess what came in the mail today I did, I ran out of tissue."
"I submitted 10 puns to a local newspaper, hoping one would make it in. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."
"If my third grade teacher hasn't taught me that little rhyme about spelling.... I'd still be spelling cieling and nieghbor wrong."
"(sheepishly putting my arm around pitbull) so is there a mrs worldwide"
"You know how Brussels sprouts and anal sex are kinda the same?? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you probably won't like it as an adult"