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Joke of the Day
"What can a duck do that a lawyer can't? Shove its bill up its ass."
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"""Omelet you finish."" - Kanyegg West"
"Fitness tip: It's absolutely crucial to take ""rest days"" when working out so you don't get hurt. I've recently taken over 300 of them."
"Why do people take acid at raves? Because there's so much base."
"Q: Why is it so easy to make plans with a gymnast? A: Because their schedules are so flexible."
"Hey, which Instagram filter takes out all the insecurities?"
"Men are like cement. After getting laid they take a long time to get hard."
"I asked for a chemistry joke, and he responded with this. [x-post from r/dadjokes] What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer? The taste."
"How does the train eats ? Chew Cheww"
"Do they really need to add 'Alive' to 'Sexiest Man' or am I grossly underestimating the number of necrophiliacs in the world?"