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Joke of the Day

"when the lady in the elevator burst into tears I did the only thing a man could do in the situation. I fell to the floor and played dead."

"Can a woman make you a millionaire? Yes, but only if you're a billionaire."

"Why I'm leaving /r/jokes I'm going to bed"

"Two antennas met on a roof and got married. The ceremony was okay, but the reception was great."

"I pitched my movie idea to a producer . It was about a kid who found out his transgender uncle was a superhero. I called it Auntman, the producer didn't get the idea, because he was black..."

"There's a new police bar in town. I hear it's very copular."

"I have a riddle for you. There are two doors, one leads to heaven, the other leads to hell. There are two guards, the guard to hell always tells a lie, and the guard to heaven is Shakira's hips."

"*drinks small coffee after 8pm* *spends rest of life on internet*"

"Why are ghosts always just moaning? Did your manners die too? Use your words!"

"Back in Homer's time it was thought that ingesting small burrowing mammals would cure you of any injury. When the prince of Troy was shot with an arrow the doctor prescribed Paris eat a mole."