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Joke of the Day

"Two antennas met on a roof and got married. The ceremony was okay, but the reception was great."

"My girlfriend let me try anal with her. It made my whole day! But it made her hole weak."

"Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him? He couldn't handle his boos."

"What was the name of Paul Revere's favorite porno mag? The British are Coming"

"So I went to the pharmacy the other day I went in and bought a box of condoms. The cahsier asked me whether I wanted a bag? I said no thanks, she's not that ugly."

"Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I'm supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me."

"Examine the shadows around my eyes. They speak of loss, of longing, of doom. Also, I buy mascara at the dollar store."

"I wish I was Jean Claude Van Damme, not to be able to roundhouse kick my co-worker, but to bore him to death as I act out a scene."

"What's the difference between oral and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your hole weak."

"A father asks his child, ""Could you please stop listening to Korean music?"" ""K, pop."""