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Joke of the Day
"After two divorces, I think I've found the key to a successful marriage. Don't marry a c**t."
Next Joke
"I left some burgers sitting in my fridge since the horse-meat scandal. AND THEY'RE OFF!!"
"If you need your iPhone repaired in Jerusalem, you obviously go to the Genius Bar. There, they don't serve alcohol..., ....but there's plenty of Apple Jews."
"I like to go up to people I haven't seen in ten years and say, ""Was THIS your card?!"""
"A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 am I told her, ""namaste in bed""."
"What should you not put in the washer with a load full of towels? A towel full of loads"
"What's the difference between dollars and Jews? I give a shit when I lose 6 million dollars."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Balloon ! Balloon who ? Balloon velvet !"
"What's the difference between dark matter and Black Lives Matter? Dark matter has the capacity to leave an impact on a system"
"Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness? Me: ha nice try I: excuse me? M: that's how Lex Luthor beat Superman. I'm not stupid."