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Joke of the Day

"I watched her squeeze into the booth, finish 3 Egg McMuffins, & stand-up. ""My knees are killing me, it must be the cold weather,"" she said."

"Why did the nutty kid throw a glass of water out of the window? He wanted to see a waterfall."

"I've yet to be intimidated by a fancy wine list thanks to my vast knowledge of fine wines and my eeny, meeny, miny, moe system."

"I was once blind for a couple of years... It was a very dark time in my life."

"I wanted to date a girl once... but as a server admin I couldn't come out of my shell."

"How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, two in the back and none in the ash tray because the Holocaust never happened."

"Canada's four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction."

"Friend celebrated her birthday today by falling off an elephant in Thailand, if you thought I'm the weird one in my circle."

"I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym."

"How do you make holy water? Fill a container and boil the hell out of it"