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Joke of the Day

"I wish the mailman would come to my house at the same time as the garbage man so he could give my mail directly to him."

"If you really think about it, James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman tickling each other would be pretty much the greatest thing ever."

"Like Bjork always says, ""When life gives you lemons, giggle in childish wonder as they confide in you their citrusy secrets."""

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Mafia Victim Barbie ...feet set in cement--she really sinks!"

"An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven legs walked into a tailors shop. 'Quick!' shouted the tailor to his assistant. 'Hide the ""Free Alterations"" sign!'"

"I've never seen a dick over 5 inches. :/ Girl 1: I've never seen a dick over 5 inches. Girl 2: My friend is a dick and he's over 5'10""."

"Coworker: I was named after my grandfather. Me: Of course you were, he was born first."

"Q.How many blonde's does it take to change a light bulb? A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man."

"I think my vibrator has Parkinson's."

"What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common? Both are measured in revolutions per minute."