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Joke of the Day
"Why was the Scandinavian atheist warm? He had Thor doubt."
Next Joke
"A guy walks into a doctors office wearing nothing but clear plastic wrap... Doctor: ""Well, I can clearly see your nuts."""
"My garbage disposal can't even handle this banana and now I'm wondering if I actually have a garbage disposal."
"ME: I can't find my sandals WIFE: did you look everywhere? ME: yes WIFE: even down ME: yes even dowI did not put those on"
"If Microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't suck... it will be a vacuum cleaner."
"I caught my SO putting plastic utensils in the waffle iron. I yelled,""What are you doing?! That will ruin it!"" She replies,""Yesterday you told me to lego your eggos. Make up your mind already!"""
"My girlfriend said I should work on my foreplay. But now I'm at the range she won't stop phoning me."
"I'm calling it now: I'm going to discover the cure for blindness and make billions of dollars someday. You'll all see."
"I like my horses like I like this kind of joke. Beaten to fucking death. Jesus, come up with something better please."
"What you call a responsible porn star? Fistfully conservative!"