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Joke of the Day

"ME: I can't find my sandals WIFE: did you look everywhere? ME: yes WIFE: even down ME: yes even dowI did not put those on"

"You guys ever listened to the music of Yellvis? *YOU AINT NOTHING BUT A HOUND DOG!!!!*"

"A teacher keeps on talking. Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!"

"Maybe don't name your musical ""Rent"" if you don't even have songs that discuss real estate or leasing procedures. 0/10, very disappointing."

"What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk"

"What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog? A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue."

"What does the interrupting cow say? HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text"

"I've consumed three coffees plus two energy drinks with black carrot and what I'm trying to say is there won't be commas in my tweets today."

"I have a rape joke. Never mind, it's a bit forced."

"What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders? He quit running."