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Joke of the Day

"Where does light go when it is convicted of a crime? Prism"

"I was at my local home improvement store yesterday And I was looking in the window section. An employee came over and asked if I needed any help, I responded ""No thanks, I'm just window shopping."""

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"I used to know a joke about Jonestown... but the punchline's too long."

"A man walks into a bar. The impact gave him a concussion."

"I like my coffee the way I like my women... Anyway I can get them."

"Think the walk of shame sucks now, imagine doing it in the 80s in corduroy pants. Everyone heard you leaving."

"I hate that feeling when your iPod earbud accidentally gets ripped out of your ear and you want to murder someone with a hammer."

"Artist: I love painting you. Times are tough. Model: Are you a starving artist? Artist: Kinda. *continues brushing butter on model*"

"What do you call an oyster who can't find another job? A clamboni driver!"